We’ve all had to deal with our fair share of toxic people in life. I must admit, the term “toxic” is rather harsh. Afterall, we were all born as pure beings, but it’s the experiences and events that we go through in life that can cause such negativity within a person. Despite how difficult it may be for me to use the term “toxic”, as I do try to see the good in everyone, it is also quite accurate.
The word toxic means poisonous. Some people can be poison to our lives. There are times when we care too much about some people, we don’t even notice the bright cloud that once hung over our heads had became dark and grey. It gets to a point where you must cut off the negativity before you eventually lose yourself in it.
If you’re unsure whether or not someone fits the criteria, here are some things toxic people tend to do:
Manipulation: Their method of working is to get others to do what they want them to do. It’s always going to be about them and using other people to accomplish whatever it is their goal happens to be.
Judgmentalism: Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others and stifle your desire to be a passionate and expressive person.
Playing the victim card: They don’t ever apologize and have an excuse for everything, taking no accountability for their own feelings or actions. Part of the victim mentality comes from a desire to avoid responsibility. They don’t believe that the choices and actions they make affect their quality of life and prefer to blame it on how “it’s just the way things are”.
Rudeness: Toxic people say hurtful things and play it off as a joke. When you call them out for it, they would turn the tables and tell you that you’re “too sensitive” or that you can’t take a joke. They also tend to say passive aggressive remarks that constantly make you feel on edge whenever you’re around them.
Negativity: They’re magnets for drama. Something seems to always be wrong. And, of course, once a problem is solved, another one emerges. They only want your empathy, sympathy and support, but they never seem to want to fix anything when you offer help or advices. Instead, they complain and complain.
Lies: I’m not talking about natural exaggerations or white lies here. I’m talking about blatant and repeated patterns of dishonesty. They will lie to you about others, and they will lie to others about you.
Arrogance: They’re always right and will never take anyone else’s feelings or ideas into account. A toxic person constantly puts themselves first and are usually incredibly arrogant. They see their personal opinions as facts and this is because they often think they are the greatest person in the room. So, they see every conversation and person as a challenge that must be won over.
Lack of empathy: Don’t expect someone who’s toxic to ever fully comprehend what you’re going through, especially if it’s emotional pain. While they may mouth the words you want to hear, their expressions and actions are enough to tell you that they aren’t genuine.
The main reason why cutting off a toxic person is difficult for some people has a lot to do with guilt. They feel this way because the person they are dealing with is probably someone they’ve known for the longest time, someone who is a mutual friend of someone else in their life or maybe it’s someone who they have to encounter with throughout their daily life, and they feel bad having to brush them off. You might not notice it right away, but toxic people can negatively influence the way you think, feel, and behave. Keeping that person will only cause unnecessary stress or chaos in your life.
Although dealing with toxic people can sometimes be unavoidable, the way you respond to them is ultimately your choice. Knowing these common behaviours of toxic people will make the manipulations easier to recognize. Once you notice these red flags, make sure to pay close attention and observe for repetitive behaviours. You have to build up the courage to stand your ground and understand that you deserve to be surrounded by supportive and loving people who will help you grow as a person.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201608/8-things-the-most-toxic-people-in-your-life-have-in-common
The word toxic means poisonous. Some people can be poison to our lives. There are times when we care too much about some people, we don’t even notice the bright cloud that once hung over our heads had became dark and grey. It gets to a point where you must cut off the negativity before you eventually lose yourself in it.
If you’re unsure whether or not someone fits the criteria, here are some things toxic people tend to do:
Manipulation: Their method of working is to get others to do what they want them to do. It’s always going to be about them and using other people to accomplish whatever it is their goal happens to be.
Judgmentalism: Judgmental people are quick to tell you exactly what is and isn’t cool. They have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible about it. Instead of appreciating and learning from people who are different from them, judgmental people look down on others and stifle your desire to be a passionate and expressive person.
Playing the victim card: They don’t ever apologize and have an excuse for everything, taking no accountability for their own feelings or actions. Part of the victim mentality comes from a desire to avoid responsibility. They don’t believe that the choices and actions they make affect their quality of life and prefer to blame it on how “it’s just the way things are”.
Rudeness: Toxic people say hurtful things and play it off as a joke. When you call them out for it, they would turn the tables and tell you that you’re “too sensitive” or that you can’t take a joke. They also tend to say passive aggressive remarks that constantly make you feel on edge whenever you’re around them.
Negativity: They’re magnets for drama. Something seems to always be wrong. And, of course, once a problem is solved, another one emerges. They only want your empathy, sympathy and support, but they never seem to want to fix anything when you offer help or advices. Instead, they complain and complain.
Lies: I’m not talking about natural exaggerations or white lies here. I’m talking about blatant and repeated patterns of dishonesty. They will lie to you about others, and they will lie to others about you.
Arrogance: They’re always right and will never take anyone else’s feelings or ideas into account. A toxic person constantly puts themselves first and are usually incredibly arrogant. They see their personal opinions as facts and this is because they often think they are the greatest person in the room. So, they see every conversation and person as a challenge that must be won over.
Lack of empathy: Don’t expect someone who’s toxic to ever fully comprehend what you’re going through, especially if it’s emotional pain. While they may mouth the words you want to hear, their expressions and actions are enough to tell you that they aren’t genuine.
The main reason why cutting off a toxic person is difficult for some people has a lot to do with guilt. They feel this way because the person they are dealing with is probably someone they’ve known for the longest time, someone who is a mutual friend of someone else in their life or maybe it’s someone who they have to encounter with throughout their daily life, and they feel bad having to brush them off. You might not notice it right away, but toxic people can negatively influence the way you think, feel, and behave. Keeping that person will only cause unnecessary stress or chaos in your life.
Although dealing with toxic people can sometimes be unavoidable, the way you respond to them is ultimately your choice. Knowing these common behaviours of toxic people will make the manipulations easier to recognize. Once you notice these red flags, make sure to pay close attention and observe for repetitive behaviours. You have to build up the courage to stand your ground and understand that you deserve to be surrounded by supportive and loving people who will help you grow as a person.
Sources:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/whats-a-toxic-person-how-do-you-deal-with-one/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-flux/201608/8-things-the-most-toxic-people-in-your-life-have-in-common